


Destiny's Prison

by TMar



Category: Smallville
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 06:55:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMar/pseuds/TMar
Summary: Lex and Clark end up in the same field where Lex once found Clark tied to a post.





	Destiny's Prison

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a long meditation more than a story. It just spilled out  
> of me and I thought, what the heck, polish it and turn it into a story. So here it is.
> 
> The song quoted in the story is "The Prison" by Melissa Etheridge, from her album "Skin". However, I only used quotes from the song to separate scenes and points of view and for a bit of mood. This is NOT a songfic (I hate those)!
> 
> Originally posted to the Smallville Slash Archive in 2003.

Destiny's Prison

by T'Mar

_I was high and dry like the Kansas sky_

Ever since they had parted ways, Lex had always wondered just when things  
had gone wrong between him and Clark. When Clark wouldn't tell him things?  
When he lied to Clark, knowing that if his friend found out, that would be  
it? They had always had secrets, and those secrets had built an  
impenetrable wall around them that even Superman couldn't breach.

Superman. Lex hated him with a passion he had never felt before, not  
even for his father... and he had never thought it possible to hate  
anyone as much as he had hated Lionel Luthor. Every scheme Lex came up  
with, every dastardly deed he did, Superman was there to foil it. And it  
wasn't that Superman foiled his plans over and over that made Lex boil  
with hatred, but the fact that doing it was just who he was.

That was the worst thing. He didn't want to stop Lex because he hated  
Lex; he didn't want to stop Lex because he was in competition with Lex.  
He just did it because it was the right thing to do. Lex hated that even  
more. Lex wanted to be first in people's lives; heaven knew, he'd never  
been first in anybody's life except for his mother's. But he knew - he  
just *knew* that even when Superman was foiling his plans, he was on the  
lookout for a kitten to save, or a bank robbery to prevent. All in a  
day's work. Damn him.

Lex drove through the countryside towards Smallville. Somehow his  
thoughts always turned to Superman, even when he was trying to get away  
from the Man of Steel by going back... home. He'd hated the mansion when  
he'd lived in it; hated the small town and the people who'd never  
accepted him... but something about the place always said 'home' to him.  
Maybe because his destiny had been forged here, in a Kansas cornfield.

He wasn't sure whether he wanted to see Clark, or not. Superman did  
rescues, and Clark's reporter partner wrote stories about them. Clark  
helped her on some, and wrote feelgood pieces at other times. He'd never  
thought Clark would end up being a reporter like that spunky girl he'd  
hung out with in high school. Chloe Sullivan. He really should have had  
her killed, but the part of him that had been Clark's friend hadn't  
allowed it. No, Chloe had been offered a great job in London, and to  
London she had gone. Ten years, and she'd never returned. He knew she  
sent letters and emails to Clark, but they hadn't seen each other since  
the day she'd left.

Lex pulled up at the mansion and just looked at it. He hadn't been here  
for ten years, either. Not since Clark had looked at him with such  
disappointment. Not since Clark had denied their friendship; called him  
a liar. That day, Lex had just stood there and taken it. He'd wanted to  
yell at Clark, tell him that it cut both ways, that he had video footage  
of Clark at the museum, that he had experts who knew what had caused the  
damage to the Porsche, that Nixon had known more than he'd told... But  
he hadn't. Clark would be better off without him. Without having to make  
up stories, without having to lie. Let Clark have a normal life, if such  
a thing was possible in Smallville. Let him shed the stigma of being Lex  
Luthor's friend.

Clark had taken Lex's heart with him that day when he'd left the mansion  
for the last time.

_If I ached for any more I knew I'd surely die_

Clark sat back and rubbed his stomach with satisfaction. "Thanks, Mom.  
That was great."

Martha Kent just laughed. "I bet you eat instant food in Metropolis."

Clark blushed slightly. "A lot, yeah. Lois can't cook."

His father laughed. "So, are things serious between you two?"

A dark shadow came over Clark's face. He'd thought things were serious  
with Lana... and zip. Chloe had left for London with nary a glace  
backward... and Lois just wanted the Pulitzer Prize. "We date, but I'm  
not sure that it can be called serious."

Jonathan sighed. "Clark, you can't still be mooning over Lana."

Clark had never told his father about his falling-out with Lex. One day,  
Lex had been there, and the next day not. Lex had bigger fish to fry in  
Metropolis; it hadn't been unexpected really. And Clark knew he'd never  
be able to tell anyone about the huge gaping hole in his chest, left by  
a person he'd never realized he'd loved.

"It's not Lana. It's just... I care about Lois, but..." He trailed off.  
He could never tell them the truth; he could never tell anyone the  
truth. Lois wasn't Lex.

"Is she in love with Superman?" Martha asked suddenly. It was easy to  
read between the lines of some of Lois's articles and see that there  
was, at the very least, a case of hero worship going on.

Clark took the way out, even if it wasn't the whole truth. "She keeps  
telling me she'd give anything for a night with him." He smiled somewhat  
sadly. "I wonder what she'd say if she knew she already had what she  
wanted."

"Whoa, Clark, too much information there, son!" Jonathan interjected.

"Yeah." He was an adult; he was sleeping with Lois. It was fine. But he knew  
he'd never get over the wanting inside him... the wanting of a man who,  
without knowing it, hated him.

Martha tried changing the subject. "Mrs Casey told me she saw a Lamborghini  
driving past her place today. Do you think it was Lex?"

Clark shook his head. "Lex only rides in limos now," he said. "Sometimes he  
races a car or two for charity events."

"But a Lamborghini, in Smallville?"

Clark shrugged. He knew about the limo thing because that's what Lex had  
told Lois when he'd still been trying to wine and dine her in the hope of  
having an 'in' at the Planet. Lois had signed his non-disclosure agreement  
before one of their several dinners. She hadn't been able to write about  
anything Lex had told her, but she'd told Clark one night in bed. They'd  
been tipsy and giggling, and Lois had felt the need to tell Clark  
*everything* she'd learned about Lex Luthor.

The fact that he hated silk sheets and only bought cotton percale from an  
exclusive shop in South Africa. The fact that he *did* wear silk boxers to  
bed. The fact that he liked to be on top.

Clark had felt tremendously guilty, but he'd quizzed his partner on  
everything she had done in bed with the billionaire. But he never forgot  
Lois's bottom-line statement: "To him it was business, Clark. Grab a condom,  
make the reporter come so hard she nearly passes out, then ask if she'd mind  
not running the story about the anonymous buy-out of two banks that control  
a lot of real estate." Lois had told Lex where to go, grabbed her things and  
left. And she'd run the story.

Lois had never dated Lex again, and Clark had flatly refused to try to get  
an interview, even after Perry had threatened his job. The pain was too  
much. He would stop Lex's schemes as Superman; he would write stories about  
them as Clark Kent; but he would never, ever, if he could help it, face Lex  
again.

_Night after night trying to get out of my skin  
Day after lonely day you'd send me back again_

Clark had been back to Smallville weekly since leaving for the city, but  
having his parents bring up Lex had been hard. It brought back things he  
didn't want to think about. Which explained why he was here, in Riley Field,  
at 3 a.m. Sometime, he wasn't sure when, Lex had told him that it was here  
that the meteorite had stuck - the one which had taken his hair. And it was  
here that Clark had been strung up as the scarecrow. It was here that Lex  
had saved him. Why couldn't he have saved Lex?

A million times since that night, Clark had wondered what would have  
happened if he hadn't confronted Lex with what he knew. If, instead, he'd  
told Lex that he loved him. Would Lex have pushed him away? Kept him as a  
friend? Returned his feelings? He had no way of knowing, but he felt that it  
would have been better than being mortal enemies for ten years.

Clark knew Lex had done bad things. Destroyed lives. Had people killed. He  
knew. But every time he wanted to condemn Lex for those things, he  
remembered that he owed his father's life to Lex as well. It didn't quite  
balance things out, but it tipped the scales enough to make him want to save  
Lex, redeem Lex.

And he tried. He foiled every scheme Lex had in which people were likely to  
get hurt or die. He stopped Lex from destroying lives and livelihoods. And  
when Lex tried to kill him - or, rather, Superman - he didn't take it  
personally. Lex would try to get rid of any obstacle on his path to  
greatness.

But every time - every *single* time - Lex spoke to him, told him that his  
days in Metropolis were numbered, Clark had to restrain himself from  
shedding the Superman guise, going down on his knees and begging Lex to  
forgive him, take him back, as a friend if nothing else. He wondered how  
long a person could live with a hole the size of Kansas in their chest.

_I have stood inside this prison... I have touched its stony walls_

Lex pulled the Lamborghini to the side of the road. It had been over a  
decade, but he remembered the way here as though he had driven it yesterday.  
His life had been forever altered in this cornfield. And he'd had a chance  
to give back to the person who had saved his life.

Clark. Lex had tried to learn his secrets, not because of the secrets  
themselves, but because he'd wanted to understand Clark. He never had, and  
now doubted that he ever would. He had spies watching Clark, opening his  
mail, reading his email, listening in on his phone calls. But all he'd  
learned from that was that Clark led a pretty average life for a newspaper  
reporter, and that Clark and Lois were sleeping together.

That hadn't been much of a surprise. Lois clearly had a thing for tall, dark  
and hazel-eyed. Lex had photographs of them having sex in Lois's apartment.  
The woman never closed her curtains properly.

Lex had seen dozens of pictures of people having sex, himself included. They  
always looked faintly ridiculous. But the close-ups of Clark looked... sad.  
As though Clark didn't really want to be there. Lex had fucked Lois, so he  
knew she was good in bed. But although Clark said all the right things and  
held Lois afterwards, murmuring comforting things (Lex had tapes, of  
course), his face never looked happy. And Lois never seemed to notice.

He could never have told Clark how he felt. He knew that. Clark had been too  
young, too straight, too in love with that simpering girl. But he'd wanted  
to. He still wanted to. He wanted Clark to look at him the way he'd looked  
at Lana, wanted to hear those bedroom endearments that Clark gave so freely  
to Lois. Wanted Clark to hold him in those strong arms. Wanted Clark to pull  
him back from the brink, from the dark side, his own personal Luke  
Skywalker. Without Clark, all he wanted was money and power. It was the only  
thing that could fill the void left by the enigmatic farm boy. With Clark...  
he wouldn't need all that. Clark's arms would be enough.

Even evil billionaires bent on world domination could have dreams.

_I know before you try to run you gotta learn to crawl_

Clark sat under the scarecrow post, idly wondering if the football teams  
still chose a freshman each year and traumatized them the way he and Jeremy  
had been traumatized. He remembered so clearly what it had felt like to be  
in contact with the meteor rock. With the *Kryptonite*. How weak it had made  
him, how he had struggled to breathe, how he had thought that he'd die out  
here, strung up in a field because he'd dared to love the wrong person. The  
quarterback was supposed to love the cheerleader, not the resident geek.

And then suddenly, Lex had been there. Pulling the ropes away, getting him  
down, offering help. He'd had too much on his plate to say much then, but  
now he wondered what would have happened if he'd hugged Lex and thanked him.

It didn't matter; water under the bridge. What was done was done. He was who  
he was, and Lex was who Lex was. He'd avoided Lex for ten years as Clark  
while seeing him at least weekly as Superman. He wished that Lex was  
redeemable, that things hadn't happened as they had. But he knew he'd  
probably carry around this ache for as long as he lived.

There was a rustling noise all of a sudden. Clark looked up to see...  
everything he'd ever dreamed of.

Lex had hardly changed in ten years. He looked older, a little, but to  
Clark he could have been the same young man who'd saved him from being  
another hate crime statistic.

_I tried to leave it all behind me  
I drove all night just to drive all day_

Lex came to a halt in the field as he saw who it was sitting under the post.  
It was as though the intervening years had melted away and this was their  
second meeting all over again. "Clark?"

The light in Clark's eyes was unmistakable. He looked... scared. Wary.  
"Lex."

"My God, Clark, what are you doing here?" Lex stopped and knelt down next to  
him. It was almost a reflex, never mind that his four thousand dollar pants  
were getting dirty.

What did it matter? He'd rejected Lex once, and been miserable for ten  
years. He wouldn't do it again. Clark looked into those changeable eyes and  
told the truth.

"I was remembering. I saved you, you saved me."

"We saved each other. I remember."

Those ten years melted even further. "It only makes sense when I'm here,  
Lex. In Smallville. Then I can remember what we were to each other. The  
stuff of legends, remember? Not some billionaire and the reporter who  
chronicles his dealings. Just two friends, Lex and Clark, no hatred or  
vendettas or lies. Just the two of us, forging a bond." Clark's voice  
dropped so low as to be almost inaudible. "I thought it would be forever."

"It can be," Lex replied. "Clark, it can be."

"Only here, now, when the rest of the world doesn't exist. When *Superman*  
doesn't exist. When lies and secrets don't separate us."

Lex scooted closer. He could *feel* the hole in his heart filling up. He  
couldn't let this opportunity slip away. On that path lay madness, lay the  
dark side. And this time, no Jedi of his own to save him. "Ask me anything,  
Clark. Anything. I'll tell you."

"Why did you want to know my secrets?"

"Because they were part of you. Because I wanted to know all of *you*.  
Because..." He paused. He had to do it, or lose Clark forever. "Because I  
loved you. I loved you from the minute I hit you with my car, Clark. And I  
know I did."

Clark looked deep into Lex's eyes. "Yes, you did. I resented that, that you  
kept asking those questions. I was afraid." Clark took Lex's hands. "I'm not  
afraid now." He squared his shoulders, and... changed.

An distant observer wouldn't have been able to tell what had happened, but  
Lex felt the difference in the vibe right away. "You're Superman."

"Yes."

Lex looked down at the ground, then into Clark's eyes. He let out a long,  
shaky breath. It seemed as if all the hatred flowed out of him with the air  
he expelled. "I knew," he said. "My God. I knew." He closed his eyes. "How  
could I have not... known that I knew?" But he knew why. It had been too  
painful, this knowledge. Better to keep it from himself than find himself  
hating his best friend. Than learning he wasn't first in the life of the  
only person besides his mother who had ever mattered to him.

Now there was only the truth left. "I love you, Clark. Everything I did...  
was to get your attention."

Clark studied those blue eyes. "You never lost it, Lex. I loved you, and I  
never knew that, either, until you left. Why do you think I went to  
Metropolis? It wasn't for the journalism scholarship. It was just to be near  
you."

They were still not touching. "Why did we waste so much time?" Lex asked.  
"I've done things..."

"'Nothing the god of biomechanics wouldn't let you in Heaven for,'" Clark  
quoted. That had been their favourite movie long ago, when things had been  
simpler.

"You'd forgive me?"

"I have to," Clark said. "How could I love you, and not forgive you? I  
forgave you every time. I will *always* forgive you."

Lex let himself relax, and allowed himself to touch Clark. He leaned into  
him, arms winding around Clark tightly. Not that it mattered how tightly he  
held him; Superman wouldn't break. Superman could take it. Strange how  
Superman could take every kind of abuse he, Lex Luthor, had conjured up over  
the years, and it was love that had brought him to this place, the place  
where coping was not an option.

_But the walls of this prison still surround me and I can't break away_

Clark let his own arms wrap around Lex. This was the man he loved; the man  
he had *always* loved. They sat there under the post and were just Clark and  
Lex again.

Just Clark and Lex. Clark let the tears fall, and he wasn't sure whether  
they were tears of happiness for having finally gotten what he'd wanted, or  
tears of sadness for having wasted so much time.

"I love you, Lex," he said, and it was as though saying the words - just  
those three words, untempered by qualifiers - loosened something inside of  
him. And suddenly he couldn't *stop* saying it. "I love you. Lex, I love  
you. I love you so much."

_I held you so close I thought my soul would break  
But you were just a ghost; the holiest mistake_

The words were a balm to Lex's soul. Clark was holding him so tightly that  
he felt his ribs creaking, but he didn't care. He wanted to be held in those  
strong arms, wanted to feel Clark's strength around him, wanted to die in  
them if need be. And he'd said the words once, and could say them again. "I  
love you, Clark. I do."

Clark finally released him and looked into his eyes. "I want us to make  
love, Lex. Now. Here. Please."

Lex had wondered what Clark would be like during sex since the day he'd met  
him. And denying what Clark was to him had never worked. Everybody had  
known. Martha had known, but she'd always liked him. His *father* had known,  
he now knew. And no doubt the bastard had found amusement in the fact that  
he felt compelled to deny it. And Jonathan Kent. Oh, he had definitely  
known. No wonder he'd tried to keep Clark away.

Lex looked into Clark's hazel eyes and whispered, "Fuck me."

Clark sat up straighter as a bolt of electricity zinged through him.  
"Lex..."

"It's all I ever wanted." He shed his jacket and began to unbutton his $800  
shirt. As he looked up from the last button, he saw his friend unbuttoning  
plaid flannel. Then Clark seemed to get frustrated with the T-shirt he had  
on underneath and ripped it off with nary any effort at all. They looked  
into each other's eyes then, and it was a race to get pants, underwear,  
shoes and socks off.

Finally, they were naked as they knelt facing each other in a Kansas  
cornfield. Then Clark reached out, and Lex followed suit, and they were  
together, naked flesh against naked flesh.

Finally.

_I will not be a judge or the one to set you free  
I'll just keep on drivin', and time's a friend to me_

This had to be the third defining moment of his life, Lex thought as he lay  
on his back on fertile soil, his legs over Clark's shoulders. Funny how the  
defining moments were all tied up with cornfields and Smallville. Maybe it  
was destiny. He'd told Clark once that they had a destiny.

Now Lex thought that this was it. It was their destiny to be here like this,  
him with Clark's cock deep inside him. He'd dreamt about it for years and  
then tried to forget the dreams for years after. But sometimes, if you were  
lucky, dreams did come true.

Lex closed his eyes momentarily and thought that few others would ever know  
the pleasure of being fucked by Superman. But then, he wasn't being fucked  
by Superman. He was *being made love to* by Clark Kent, the man he loved.

Lex opened his eyes and looked into Clark's even as he felt the pleasure  
building. Clark was going to come inside him, and their destiny would be  
sealed. He fisted his own erection then, more because he didn't want Clark  
to leave him behind than anything. He clenched his muscles around Clark's  
cock, crossed his legs behind Clark's head knowing it wouldn't hurt him,  
cried out, "Clark!" and came, shooting all over his own chest.

_The sentence has been read everything is done  
I wish I could say goodbye to you, wish I could hold the sun_

Clark literally saw stars as he came inside Lex. He'd never thought he'd get  
a chance to be with Lex this way. So this is what it felt like to make love  
to the person you were supposed to be with. It was... right.

Clark carefully slid out and away from Lex, putting him down. Then he  
enfolded Lex in his arms and sat them both up against the scarecrow post.

He didn't know how long they sat there; he thought they might have even  
drifted off to sleep for a little while. But the sky started to lighten, and  
Lex stirred in his arms.

"Do you think they still tie freshmen up out here?"

Clark was embarrassed because if they did, he should have stopped it. Should  
have come here in his costume and given them a stern Super-lecture on why  
this kind of hazing was a bad thing. Maybe he still would. No, he definitely  
would. "I'll make them stop, Lex."

Lex looked up at him. "I know you will. Truth, justice and the American way.  
Hate crimes are un-American."

"And yours?" It was the first time they had ever spoken honestly about all  
the things Lex had done. Clark had said it didn't matter, and it didn't. But  
he couldn't let it continue.

"I don't need to control the world if I have you," Lex said.

"You bought into your father's ideas of what you should be like."

"I accomplished what I did without him," Lex said. "And I hated you. Well,  
Superman."

"And I wanted you to be my friend, the one who helped people in Smallville."

"I can be that," Lex said. "And more." He leaned up and kissed Clark then,  
and Clark sighed with the pleasure of it.

"I want you to make love to me, Lex. So that we cleanse the way between us."

"Not here," Lex said. "Farmer Joe will no doubt be up soon."

"Farmer Reilly," Clark said, chuckling. Then he simply picked Lex up in his  
strong arms. "Hold on tight," he said, and took off into the sky.

_My eyes are dull and burnt and they lie to me sometimes  
Cause I thought I saw you cryin'_

Lex lay beside Clark in his bed at the mansion. He had never felt so close  
to any person, ever, as he had when he'd been inside Clark, and Clark had  
been inside him. Clark had been hot, hotter than he should have been, and  
he'd opened to Lex like a flower. Overly romantic analogy, but there it was.  
It had been as though Clark had just been waiting for Lex, and he'd let him  
in with no resistance at all. After that, coming inside Clark had been a  
formality. They were sealed together now, the two of them.

Lex smiled as he thought of how they'd flown through the sky. Clark had  
taken Lois flying, he knew. But Clark had never made love to Lois in  
complete silence; had never looked as happy as he had when Lex had been  
inside him. Lex knew now that the endearments Clark had bestowed on Lois had  
been to cover up the lack of feeling inside him. All Clark had said when  
they were done had been, "Lex." It was more than enough.

_I have stood inside this prison... I have touched its stony walls_

Clark drifted back to awareness with Lex spooned around him. Everything  
would be all right now. No more vendetta; no more hatred. No more wishing  
for something that they'd both thought could never be. They had it now, and  
they'd keep it.

He felt a tightening of the arm across his middle and smiled. "That was the  
best night of my life," he said, turning around to see his new lover's face.

And Lex was looking at him with that blue intensity that meant he'd made his  
mind up about something. "What is it?" Clark asked.

"We're going to be together," Lex said firmly, and he looked so happy that  
Clark actually *ached* with the beauty of it. He leaned forward and they  
shared a kiss. Not a prelude-to-passion kiss, but a simple, loving,  
affirming kiss between two people who knew what they were to each other.

"Yes," Clark answered. "We're going to be together. I've never wanted  
anything else."

_I know before you try to run you gotta learn to crawl_

"I love you," Lex said. He wondered how many times he'd said it this night.  
He knew he could never say it enough. No matter how many times he told  
Clark, it would never be enough to convince him that he'd made Clark feel  
the truth of it. "I want to announce to the world that we're together."

Clark sat up in the bed and looked at him. "I want that, too. Absolutely." A  
long pause, then, "But I have to keep Superman separate from myself." Lex  
was about to speak, but Clark held up a hand to forestall him. "Not that  
we have to remain enemies - I mean, you and Superman - but we can have a  
slow de-escalation of hostilities." Clark grinned that cheeky grin that Lex  
had seen too seldom for his liking. "Besides, I think having Superman  
looking over your shoulder will keep you honest."

"*You* keep me honest," Lex replied. "You always did."

"I love you, Lex," Clark said, and now it was Lex's turn to ache from the  
beauty of Clark Kent, in love with him.

"What about Lois?" Lex asked. He knew they had separate apartments, but he'd  
seen Clark over at Lois's too often not to realize that they were  
practically living together.

"I'll tell her," Clark promised. He shifted so that Lex was lying against  
his chest. "Do you want to have a press conference afterwards, make an  
announcement in the Planet, or just start showing up together at  
high-profile events?"

"I think the press conference will be the easiest. That way we'll avoid the  
endless speculation and we can move on with our lives."

They made love again, and lying in the aftermath with Clark still inside  
him, Lex realized something.

Smallville had always been his place for new beginnings. He'd been reborn  
out of the ashes of the spoiled rich boy dependent on medication that day  
when the meteors had landed. He'd been reborn out of the ashes of the  
rebellious teenager who'd protested taking over a crap factory because it  
was located in a small town. And now... he'd been reborn from the ashes of  
the evil billionaire intent on obtaining power through any means necessary.

He'd still do great things. He knew it. And now he could accept that  
Smallville had never been his prison, or his place of exile. It had been his  
destiny. Even his father had somehow known that, all those years ago. He'd  
always known he'd never be able to escape his destiny, and now he knew that  
not only did he not want to, he'd never needed to. Because in Smallville, he  
had found Clark Kent.

_I tried to leave it all behind me  
In my dreams somehow I got away  
But the walls of this prison still surround me  
And I can't break away_

END


End file.
